Solid gold toothpick and earwax spoon

Divers have found the weirdest little thing off the coast of Key West. Treasure hunters were looking for the shipwreck of a Spanish galleon that sank in 1622 which has produced some handsome treasures like gold bars and a lead casket full of pearls in the past.

Instead of ingots, they found this:

gold-toothpick

See, you pick your teeth with the pointy bit on the left, then you scoop out your earwax with the spoony bit on the right. The hoop at the top middle indicates it was worn on a chain. I call that classy.

What if they absentmindedly used the wrong side? Waxy gums and punctured eardrums would not make for a pleasant trans-Atlantic voyage.

6 thoughts on “Solid gold toothpick and earwax spoon

  1. Note the little loop at the top. These things could be worn as jewelry, like as a pin or broach, though not necessarily (portrait images are notorious for leaving those little details off).

    So after a nice meal, you and your guests lean back, let a nice belch rip and un-clasp your little device to pick the last bit of peacock out from your teeth and scoop out any dirt that may have gotten in your ears during the hunt earlier that day. Don’t forget to scratch your codpiece.
    :giggle:

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